I think I found something for you, Jeremy. This thing isn't going to automatically tack on that silly "sent from my iPhone" phrase after every message. No sir, this is one sophisticated--- in-your-face, and a mugger's dream---mobile phone. Price upon inquiry.
http://mobiado.com/105GMT_Gold.htm
The 105GMT Gold
discovery
ENGINEERING
--Entire front and back is created from sapphire crystal
--DiscoveryTM Mechanism: Dual Swiss automatic mechanical, gold-plated watch
movements(illuminates when keys light up)
--Ability to see 3 time zones simultaneously; setting 2 international time zones with
the mechanical watches and using the electronic phone time for the local time
--Movements are attached to a unique 3D shock absorbing system (patent pending)
--Dual inset 24 Karat gold plated crowns 5 micron thick, 24 Karat gold plated CNC
machined, brass frame
--Inlayed CNC machined Ebony hardwood 24 Karat gold, hand painted lettering and
symbols
--Sapphire crystal buttons, hand painted with 24 Karat gold paint
--Gun metal black stainless steel screws
--Unique hidden sliding battery cover mechanism(patent pending) with the battery
cover made entirely from one large piece of sapphire crystal
--Optional: Diamond watch hours and diamond "M" symbol between watch
movements (illuminates when keys light up)
-Limited quantity of 50
TECHNOLOGY
Quadband GSM and dual band WCDMA
-Speaker phone
-3G luxury phone
-2 megapixel picture and video camera
-More than 1 GB of internal memory
-2" display with up to 16 million colors
-Music and video player
-Micro USB port allows quick connection to a PC,
-laptop, accessories, or charging